When Two Maniacs Get Together
by miniSmack
Summary: Emily Black and Nephiro Miketsu's ranting or plots to kill people. Goes along with Blackness, a wonderful fic written by Neppy
1. Introduction

**When Two Maniac's Get Together- The Chronicles of Nephiro and Emi** Introduction: Hello. I'm Neppy (or mini, whichever one you prefer). My job is to tell you how these "stories" go. Fun, huh? First it starts off with on the one girl's perspective. Yup, first person. The girl will be stated in parenthesis before the actual chapter starts. When you see this: o.O, it means the perspective changes into the other character. Good thing there's only two people telling this. Nephiro and Emi. OK. Another thing. This has no tie in what so ever with the actual story Blackness. It's just little things me and Jess (smack) think of late at night. You might see similarities in my story to these but none of them will ever be the same. And they have no set year they are dated. Make up your own god damn year. Now I let you enjoy the wonderful chronicles :) -Neppy 


	2. Chronicle 1

**Chronicle One.** (Nephiro) I was sitting in the library at a lone table in the corner; mind my own business, scowling at random people. It was after hours but I didn't feel like going to my "house" and listening to all the cheerful peons blab about gay ass things that I don't give a shit about or listening to Draco whine about how much he "misses" Emi. Pussy. He really needs to get a life. That fag Harry walked by, smiling a stupid smile. "Hello, Nephiro," He said cheerfully. "How are you that fine evening?" "Did I give you permission to speak to me? Shoo. You have no friend," I replied meanly. "I hate you." "You should by happy to know that feeling is mutual." "Good. That will make it easier for me when I kill you." "What?!" "Go hump Ron. He misses you." "Ron's happy with Lily." "He's trying to make you jealous. It's working, isn't it?" I knew I was getting to him. Pretty soon he'll snap, yell at me, get kicked our all without getting whatever it was he came here to find. I'm such a genius! "No I'm not jealous!" "Oh . . . I think you are." "NO I'M NOT!!!" he screamed. 

o.O

"Then why are you so upset potter?" I asked, appearing besides him. I watched the scene from a distance; I love watching Nep destroy people reputations. Especially fag-boys. Suddenly the school librarian popped out of no where. "Harry Potter! This is not proper library conduct! 15 points from Gryffindor! Now leave!" She yelled. God, I love this school! I took at the table. "So Nephiro . . . How are you doing this fine evening?" I chuckled. 

o.O

How dare she get involved in my conflict! Grrr her! "I was fine until you showed up Black," I replied, glaring at her. "And since you are now here, I think I'll leave." "That's OK. I was just picking up my book of curses so I can curse you while you're sleeping with Hagrid in his little hut," she had the nerve to say. "Haha. Funny. I'll remember that one when I'm looking down at your lifeless body after I kill you." "Fun, Nephiro, fun." "Don't you have to go screw Draco or a monkey or something?" Nah. I was thinking about going to see Zandyr and Sweets. They make such a cute coupl." My eyes flashed. Sweets. That dumb bitch. If she even thinks about touching MY Zandyr she's dead. "Fuck off, Blackie." 

o.O

"Hit a sore spot, have I?" I asked, smiling cruelly at her. I knew how to play this game, I may not be good at it, but I am familiar with the rules. She wasn't going to get to me. "I don't think so," she said, waving her finger in front of my face. "Ya know, I did see they walking alone in the corridor last night . . . by one of Filch's broom closets." 

o.O

That was the last straw. I've had enough of the snooty over-confident bitch for one night. In one quick movement I was across the table holding her in the air by her collar. "I'd learn when to keep my mouth shut if I were you," I advised. "Only if you do Neppy," she said. She swung her forehead down and hit me in the nose. I shoved her against the wall and left. She's not worth it. 


	3. Chronicle 2

**Chronicle Two** (Neppy's Note: Ummm, yes, a part of this was in chapter 12. It inspired me to write that.) (Emi) I was sitting outside by the lake, minding my own business . . . if watching Sarah and Oliver make out across the lake was your own business. People were going to Hogsmeade for the weekend, and moi, being my non-permission slip self, was left behind. I threw a clump of grass in the water and said, "This blows." "I agree Blackie," Nephiro said from behind me. I personally didn't know her very well except she and my brother hit it off pretty well. She sat down on the ground a couple of feet away. "Being the new kid sucks." "Yeah, I kinda wish my Aunt Mildred was here to sign that stupid paper. Then I would kill her," I complained, half joking and half meaning it. 

o.O

"At least you have someone who could sign the paper," I mumbled, hoping she wouldn't hear. 'All I need is her to hear that and start feeling sorry for me. Damn Zandyr. I'm all "nice" because of . . . hehe . . ." "What was that Nephiro?" She asked. "I said you probably couldn't kill her if you tried." "What are you two doing?" an obnoxious voice I recognized as Hermione's said. "Plotting your demise. Go away or it won't be a surprise," I answered. "Well, that's not nice!" She whined. "Yea, Nephiro. That's not nice," Emi agreed. She got up, dusted herself off, and took a step towards Hermione. She has an evil glint in her eye, which I understood. I got up and walked towards Hermione. "Neither is this." Emi and I pushed her into the lake. Ha. I just hope the giant squid get her. Saves me some trouble. 

o.O

"Wahoo!" I yelled as Hermione feel into the lake. "Evil minds think a like!" 'Not really . . ." "Not really . . ." She commented. 'Omigod, kill me now." "So, how are things in school?" I questioned, ignoring 'Mione's pleads for help. "Uhhh, the usual. I got an 'F' in Transfiguration." "I failed Potions again." I said cheerfully. "Help me!" Hermione yelled. "Oh shuddup!" Nephiro and I screamed at the same time. 

o.O

"Well, maybe if you weren't busy flirting with that fag Draco all class you would have down better. Honestly, what do you see in him?" "More then you see in Zandyr." "I highly doubt that." "Well, I doubt Zandyr even likes you. He jumps on anything in a skirt. Like in the hallway the other day . . ." I narrowed my eyes. "Sort of like Draco only it's not things in skirts he goes after. Except that one time when Crabbe put one on." 

o.O

Ohhhhh. That was the last straw. Only I'm allowed to call Draco gay! I leaped towards her, hitting my fist against her cheek. "Bitch!" I yelled. 

o.O

"Whore!" I yelled, taking her arm and twisting it, while proceeding to knee her in the stomach. 

o.O

"Slut!" I kick out my leg, hitting her kneecap. She released my hand and I struck her neck with the side of it. "Wench!" Nep yelled and stumbled back some, but manage to land a sidekick to my face. I felt the bridge of my nose break as it came in contact with her foot; that taste of blood in my mouth. "Cock-sucker! You broke my nose!" 

o.O

"Good!" We lunged at each other simultaneously, ready to kill each other. Somebody lifted us apart. "Can't leave you two alone for a minute, can I?" I heard a voice say. I recognized it as . . . Zandyr's? Shit! "She stared it!" I yelled, pointing at the scowling Emi. "Well you said Draco was gay!" Emi screamed. "That's because you said Zandyr was cheating on me!" "Ummm. . . help?" Hermione cried. "SHUT UP!!!" Emi and I ordered. "What? I'd never cheat on you, Nephiro! But be nice to Emi!" Zandyr said. "Why? I don't like her." "Help me! I'm cold . . . " Hermione whined. "No!" 

o.O

"Well, I hate you too Miketsu!" I yelled. "Will you two stop it already? And why is Hermione in the lake?" Zandyr asked. "She pissed me off," Nephiro answered. "She deserved it," I added. "Ok. . ." Zandyr stated. Muhahahaha. The end. (Hermione is never rescued. YaY!) 


	4. Chronicle 3

**Chronicle Three** (Nephiro) I was sitting outside, minding my own business, watching the Whomping Willow bash some large rock that it got a hold of. Which I had nothing to do with, of course. 'Now if only that was Sweets.' "Hey Nephiro!" I heard Emi call. 'Or Blackie.' "What do you want?" I asked irritated by her intrusion. "I was planning Sweets' death. I figured the Whomping Willow would be a nice way to go," she replied. I eyed her suspiciously. She must have an alterative motive. "Really? And you came to find me why?" "It's not my fault you happen to be here, just begging to be pushed into it." "Why don't you go on your merry way and leave me alone?" "What are you two up to?" a sweet but annoying voice asked. 'Damn Bimbo.' 

o.O

"Nothing that involves blonde bimbos," I replied. "You're mean Emi!" I wasn't up to listening to her. She needed to die; because trying to steal Nephiro's man could result in bad, bad things . . . she could blow up the world! Sweets tried to walk away but I grabbed her shoulder. "Oh no you don't Sarah." Nephiro grinned at us meanly. "Lemme go!" She tried to reach for her switchblade, but I hit it out of her range. "Have any last words?" I didn't wait for an answer. "No? That's a pity. Nephiro?" 

o.O

"I have something to say." I paused to smirk at the terrified Sweets. "You should have never tried to steal Zandyr away from me. It never would happen. Sorry, almost doesn't count." Emi and I shoved her towards the Whomping tree. Just as she was about to be within the tree's grasp, Harry Potter showed up and grabbed her. "God damn Boy-Who-Lived!" Emi screamed. "If I was Voldemort, you wouldn't have lived! I never would have made such a mistake!" I yelled. The others blinked in surprised, "What? Can't you handle VOLDEMORT'S name? Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort!" "You called master?" Emi asked. Harry and Sweets looked they were about to escape but Emi pulled out a wand and yelled, "_Petrificus Totalus!_" and they fell, paralyzed. "That should keep them," She said smiling. "At least until I do this!" I added, pointing my wand and screaming the memory charm. "_Obliviate!_" Emi unparalyzed them. "What happened?" Sweets asked. "You were about to fall into the Whomping Willow. We saved you," Emi lied. "You saved us?" Harry questioned. 

o.O

"We couldn't let a tree kill you when we wanna do it ourselves!" Nephiro told them. "I mean, where's the fun in that?" I said. Harry glared me. "Awwww, Harry don't worry. We won't kill you precious Ronicans." "Emi, you have no real friends and nobody likes you," Harry said. I've had it with Potter and his sneers about me! This is why he needs to die! I lunged at him with full force, ready to kill. He leaped backwards as I wrapped my small hands around his neck. "Die, Potty!" I screamed ay him. I pulled his head down and smacked it against my knee, breaking his glasses. He yelled in pain and I just laughed. "Oh did that hurt Potter?" I did it again. Shoving his away I landed a kick to his stomach, he doubled over in pain, not even trying to fight back. "What the fuck Blackie?" he bellowed, wrapping his hands around his belly. He reached for his wand but I was quicker. "_Expelliarmus!_" I said, pointing my wand at him; his flew into the truck of the Whomping Willow, making it near impossible to retrieve. 

o.O

I watched Emi take down Potter. Quality entertainment. All I need is a bowl of popcorn and I'm good to go. Nothing's better than watching two people you hate go at it. Who cares who wins? It's a win/win situation for me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sweets make a move towards the two of them. "I don't think so, Bimbo. Nobody's gonna ruin my entertainment." I grabbed my wand and said the paralyzation spell, knocking Sweets down. That done, I pushed her towards a rock, and sat down by her, using her for an armrest. 'Ah, that's better.' So I sat by and watched Emi kick the crap out of Harry, all the while enjoying my new "armrest." The fight, if you can call it that, went on for a few good minutes and there was even some screaming involved. Potter didn't even try and fight back. It was kind of sad, watching Potter get beaten up by a girl and not even trying to defend himself, but it was really funny at the same time. Hehe. Good times. "Miss Black! Mr. Potter! Stop that right now!" I heard Snape yell as he appeared on the scene. 'Damn. Just when it was getting good. I bet Potty was about to cry.' 

o.O

I was punching Harry in the stomach when Snape yelled to us. I pushed him back to the ground and spit on him. Looking up, I saw that Professor Snape wasn't alone; Rilee, Draco, Ron and Hermione were following him. Weasel and Granger looked like they were going to kill me, or cry, one or the other. And Rilee and my baby, Draco looked very happy. "What is the meaning of this you two?" Snape asked, very angrily. "Nothing Professor." Nephiro said, while smiling. Least to say we got in big trouble. I was closest to expulsion than I've even been! I got a very nice howler from my father, Lupin, and of course from Master Malfoy. I think that guy needs to take the stick out of his ass and realize this . . . it was just Harry. :) 


End file.
